I Lost, But Really Fought

1. a passage from one scene to another by sound effects, music, etc., as in atelevision program, theatrical production, or the like
2. Music a. a passing from one key to another; modulation b. a brief modulation; a modulation used in passing c. a sudden, unprepared modulation
3. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change
Change is part of life.  No?  If you are not comfortable with change, then, well…good luck.  I say this with sincerity and love.  Get used the the idea of change.
Too stern?  Well, it is what it is.  I hate when people say that.  And here I am using it.
When it comes to the way things are it’s better to SEE things as they really are.  It will save you much in the long run.
Although experiencing the ups and downs is what life is and the lessons learned are absolutely what forms a being…too much time, spirit, and soul end up lost by the simple of act of not SEEing what is right in front of your face.
Why do we do that?
Well, after doing it ALOT, I feel compelled to share my humble findings.  Plainly put, I wasn’t ready to admit I lost and that it was okay to have lost.
Humans are not used having to admit their mortal tendencies but when you add in ego, self esteem, and other crazy self talk, you can imaging the potential for a quick spiraling into the abyss.
But at some point (if you are lucky and I was), you’ll get sick of the self loathing and realize there is joy to be had.  Time is moving quickly.  And we all deserve happiness.  Part of that comes from being able to go through loss and know that this is just another step in the journey.
The transition through brings a deeper awareness, deeper gratitude of how I lost but really fought.
And how I’ll keep fighting.
Fighter~Photo by Trupti


Here Comes Our Sun

1. to burn with an unsteady, swaying flame  
2. to blaze with a sudden burst of flame  
3. to display conspicuously or ostentatiously
4. to signal by flares of fire or light
5. to cause (something) to spread gradually outward in form
6. to shine or glow
Ugh.  What is coming?  What shall it be like?  Will there be joy?  Will I find peace?  Or does this not exist?
It would be a relief to know so I can plan either way but this is not going to happen.  Life comes on it’s own terms and then it’s up to you.  Do you want to watch your life pass you by…or not?
I choose “or not”.  Even with the Rocky Road sundae served, I am still choosing “or not”.  Even with the overwhelming frustration of wasting in a place in time which didn’t know my value.  Or is it that I didn’t know my value?
AHA moment.
I will not let the story end there.
It’s my time now.  To figure out my place in this new world of mine.

The colors are beginning to come into focus and the shadows are getting lighter and brighter.  Looking over my shoulder is no longer an act of fear but one to acknowledge how far I have traveled and it reaffirms where I still must go.

The pages of this new chapter are still mostly blank.  But not for long.  Life has come back, suggesting I continue writing my story with each new day.
Isn’t that what we all want?  The perseverance to survive and thrive as we journey on?
None of us are meant to go out an inconsistent flare but rather to continue spreading our glow. Gradually, outwardly.
Just as the dawn comes up slowly over the mountains, here comes OUR sun.
Here It Comes~Photo by BTP