1. with great exertion

2. with strong force or impact


1.  not soft; solid and firm to the touch; unyielding to pressure
2.  involving a great deal of effort, energy, or persistence
I’m really hoping this feeling of anxiety subsides soon.  What if it doesn’t?  What will I do then?  I don’t know. I really don’t know.  “They” say that “time heals all wounds”.  So I wait.  Waiting impatiently for this day to arrive.
Day after day I hold on but don’t let go.  I hold on thinking this will be the day.  The day life is going to get better.  And while I wait, an interesting event has taken place.
I think I may beginning to know things, see things clearer, and be.  Ironically, this could also be what is causes more anxiety.
Thinking I have a clue, a grasp, dare I say, an answer.  An answer to what plagues deep inside.  The items you don’t share with anyone else, even those closest to us.  In fear of rejection or a final diagnosis that I may actually be crazy.  The real kind.
But instead I may have found some tranquility in the darkness.  “I know it doesn’t take a genius to realize that sometimes life is hard.”  In the meantime,  the effort and energy, and persistence goes just as hard towards the visions of what I see ahead and fight to believe it.
Push yourself to believe again.
Choose forgiveness and peace…and live as you heal over.

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