heav·en  
–noun
1. the abode of god, the angels, and the spirits of the righteous after death;the place or state of existence of the blessed after the mortal life
2. heavens~
     a. used interjectionally to express emphasis, surprise, etc.
     b. a wooden roof or canopy over the outer stage of an Elizabethan theater
3. The sky, firmament, or expanse of space surrounding the earth
4. a place or state of supreme happiness
Supreme.  Wow.  Have you had that?  Something supreme.  Have you felt this?
Contrary to it’s assumed positive undertone, it’s impact is best made in the darkest of times.  Why?  Maybe because it’s at our most desperate, we are able to SEE.  To see with clarity.  This is what I believe. This conclusion didn’t come easy though.
I avoided it for a long time.  Why?  Because I wanted to believe in something.  I had a vision.  A vision which I always believed in.  But then it was gone forever, before even beginning, never to be a reality.  It died.  It died just within my grasp.
When something dies, it creates a pain.  A pain to carry.  You just carry it wherever you go.  A constant weight on the heart, which you pretend isn’t there.  Pretending.
But as most things ignored, it won’t be ignored for too long.  And when that moment arrives, it’s frightening, isolating, and baring.  Exposing one’s most intimate fears and beauty.  Both full and knowing.  Knowing you need to SEE both, to survive what you carry.
Alas, there is a purpose to the pain.
My mission is to understand that purpose.  If that’s possible.  It might take days or it might take eternity.  But one thing is clear, I look upwards and onward …and know exactly why.
Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah [x4]
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Baby I’ve been here before
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor (you know)
I used to live alone before I knew you
And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah

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